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Ownership or Defensive Which one are you?

Ownership or Defensive Which one are you?

executive coaches melbourne

Have you ever found yourself

getting defensive, justifying… what you did or said

and feeling as if it’s a legitimate response?


Of course you have

Most people do


Let’s call that 0%


Have you ever taken on another’s negative words,

believing them to be true about you

andfeeling bad, sad or negative in some way?


Chances are you probably have at some point

It’s pretty common for some more than others


Let’s also call that 0%


When others say hurtful things to us

it generally upsets us

Ideally it shouldn’t, but for many of us it does


When this happens, the best thing we can do to protect ourselves

and still feel good, is to ask ourselves TWO questions


Is what they are saying true?


Is what they are saying false?


How you answer those two questions

has a dramatic effect on our self esteem

and how we function day to day

Whether we come from a place of blame

or if we own our truth and stand strong in it


How well we can take RESPONSIBILITY


That’s a lot from two very simple questions.


So, if what another says is actually TRUE

the key is to be an adult about it and own

that maybe we have some work to do

Change something, alter something, admit something,

Stand in our truth, and take RESPONSIBILITY for what we did

what we said, and how we showed up


Let’s call that 100%


There is so much power in admitting who we are


Not through fear, but…

through ownership

through strength

through truth


Stand strong in who you are, even if others don’t agree

as long as you aren’t hurting others

Owning yourself, gives conviction to who you are

or at the very least allows you to see who you really are

It may not be someone you want to continue being

and this awareness

brings about positive change anyway


I’ll put a warning in here…

If you have someone in your life that says bad things to you

and you believe them to be true

BUT you can’t happily and relatively easily see the truth in it

Then the key is to happily own it (ie it shouldn’t make you feel really bad)

Uncomfortable, ok

Bad, NOT ok


Check with someone you trust to double check

Chances are, if it feels really bad to you

it’s probably not that true

So, a second, trusted opinion is a good help here


If its false, there is no need to take it on at all

Just in the way that if someone called you a ‘Purple Donkey’

you wouldn’t be offended, need to justify or feel bad about yourself

As it’s simply just NOT the case at all

(unless of course you are in fact a purple donkey…

But you couldn’t be because they can’t read) 🙂


Enjoy asking yourself the TWO questions

And ENJOY the results that come….